I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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