addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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