'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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