...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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