she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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