there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
