You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
