Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
