I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My vagina just clenched in fear
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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