I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
