Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Rumble strips road head = magical
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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