During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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