Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry iamme5timesfast hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.

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(219): View more from Indiana

How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

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(740): View more from Ohio

Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.

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(206): View more from Washington

Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion

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(314): View more from Missouri

You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?

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