called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
