i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
