Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
smell my finger.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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