can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize