This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
