she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize