how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All I want is dick and wine.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
