I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
