I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
