I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
