therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
accomplished twins. life is a go
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
