And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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