i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
