Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
