some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize