You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
