You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This house was built for laser tag.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
