I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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