FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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