He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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