i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
