This house was built for laser tag.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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