i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
