People in love make me want to vomit
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize