let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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