She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize