i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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