okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Randomize