she smelled like a LAN party
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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