I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
