could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
