I wanna passion pit in your ass
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
