he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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