all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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