worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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