Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
