yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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