you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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