Sry I called you an 8
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
