Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
