grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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