last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
