Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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