My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
