I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
