do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
