Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
honey bunches of taint.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i will never coherently bang her
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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