I bet he comes in French.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize