I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
