Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
