I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
