I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
