She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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