McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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