I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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