yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
