Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
