So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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